Sometimes everything lines up with the best of intentions, then the phone rings before you can get your fuzzy little butt out the door ... that was my morning. Still it has proved profitable, Great things were done with the first half of it that, fingers crossed, will win me dividends at the end of this week. I'm looking forward to being able to settle some of this into a strong, regular pattern instead of these bursts of creative chaos in between flat lulls of bleaugh.

... and all but three of you will have no idea what I'm talking about, that's the problem with these things.

Anyhoo, I'm glad things went down the way they did as my insides have been murderous this afternoon. I spent a fair part of it sat outside in the shade drinking filthy powdered concoctions, ignoring the cramps and watching the bees (becuz bees are awesome ... I can't wait until the Lavender flowers this year, our garden goes crazy with bumblebees when that happens). I also managed to have a good geek on the phone with Lamasu that set everything off just perfectly.

I was never a person to hang on the phone in the past, except when Ezekiel and I were apart from each other it was almost something I avoided. But over the last few years I've grown to love having people in such easy reach ... especially when they're ones I don't get to see every day - friendships that started through internet gatherings tend to have a bit of distance in them after all. Being able to talk to Lama, Mish, RainDog, Sheryl and my other peeps goes a long way towards keeping me in one piece mentally and physically ... and generally makes things a fuck of a lot more fun too.

It also makes it a lot harder to isolate myself from people ... which is something I used to do an awful lot (and then feel quite tortured by loneliness, what a catch 22, eh? The problem isn't having people around or not having people around, it's having people around who get you and vice versa that makes the difference) and still have something of a tendency to ... though I'm making it harder and harder to do that to myself all the time. I've changed the way I work, taken steps to get myself out and around people more often ... and to bring them here, and started to try and make a point of strengthening the ties to people I do have (no matter how half-assedly). While life still has its moments, it is much, much harder for my mind to leave me somewhere dark without anyone else to bring me a light - something I'm very thankful for indeed.

I've been reading the archives of a webcomic I've never looked at before, Waspi Square. It's an awful lot more satisfying than the title had made me assume in the past and it has done a grand job of entertaining me between paragraphs while I crank out the source of my daily bread. If your demons are people too sometimes it might appeal to you as well. I've also been leaning into thesixtyone for music and it's been doing a great job of keeping me company. I'll be glad when this particular project crunch is over though, I miss gaming!

I particularly miss hanging out with Angel and Pher in GW ... I promise I've not left or anything, guys .

We went for a walk in the evening light yesterday and it was awesome, there were swings and ducks and unexpected ravers ... I'll tell the story later this week and show you some video. Until then, be well, all .