Profile slow is the most wonderful trance high when it clicks - a deep, silent space of eyes hips body and being a part of something larger than yourself. It happened tonight and I'd missed it so much. The only drawback is it's very hard to muster conversation afterwards until you've escaped and come back up into the world.

We've focused a lot on coreography today - even moreso than usual, in preparation for the Hafla at the end of March I suspect. The idea makes me more than a little nervous but also feels very right indeed.

Cycling home afterwards with Gibby Haynes crooning into my ear as if he's sat there right behind me, rain in my glasses turning the streetlights into a mess of neon spiderwebs the world feels like a very wonderful place to be.

I should mention also that I am now the proud owner of a Bellynut 18 yard dance skirt, which is quite the most beautiful and fabulous things I have ever owned. The picture at the top shows you the fabric and the detailing on the brocade. If you want to see the full thing, nudge me via email/chat and I'll send you a picture .

There is a new quest up at Seven Stones this week, and given the abundance of seeds within our kitchen, I rather felt I could do something amusing for this. As a consequence I present the following: Seed Art! Little Fennel Dogs under Sunflower and Pumpkin seed trees everywhere finally get their moment of internet fame .

Amy and I were at the doctors the other day, and we noticed that the Foster Mill was being torn down. That place has been an object of fascination to me for more than twenty years. built in the 1800s and shut down in the latter part of last century I didn't even realise it was a flour mill at first - it felt like some sort of postapocalyptic industrial church to me when I'd see it from the station. I'm not sure what they plan on putting up there (the details of the CB1 development have been under debate forever and a day) but i'll miss the old thing regardless.

The last week has been a bit odd. It started well last Saturday with FlowJam; a live event with Bellydancers, Drummers, circus skills people, poi dancers, contact jugglers and all the rest - it's being fun by Guy who I know from Firetroupe, ATS and Cambridge Community Circus and I'm wondering if it's a precursor event to (or connected somehow with) the Elements of Flow weekend event this summer. The whole thing was fantastic though. We started off Bellydancing to some Solace until the drummers got warmed up, then I spent the rest of the time alternating between Bellydancing, poi spinning, dancing with the most Beautiful dance fans I have ever seen and occasionally sitting round in an exhausted little heap - it was wonderful. We hut the Cambridge Blue afterwards for a few drinks as well where I was able to get the hell over my shyness a bit and have a great time talking with some friends from dance and fire troupe. Guy is going to run these monthly and I can't wait for the next one.

Thursday was rather nice as well, Dance class in the evening went well, I felt more back into the rhythm of things this week, and was partnered up with Madeline (I hope I've spelt that right) for the evening, so we got to talk a bit and to do some lead passing and stealing in clock formation which was rather good fun. I paid Nicola for the Domba weekend (Which I am absolutely ridiculously hyped for - a whole weekend of ATS workshops? yes please ) and acquired another interesting homework assignment - this one is slightly less confessional and slightly more crafty and it's caught my imagination a bit (I just need to have a bit more patience with it .. varnish takes awhile to dry ¬.¬

Yesterday we went over to my folkses ... and I took the bass and my gubbins with me so my brother and I could have a bit of a Jam. We played through a whole bunch of songs (some of ours and some others), did a bit of writing and recorded a couple of backing tracks for Ezekiel to sing to (Toad the Wet sprocket - Pray your Gods and One Eskimo - UFO). We also got one of our songs down in protools to have a fiddle with later on and seem to have our routine back for doing more complicated things. We're going to try and make it a more regular thing again - I'm very excited about this. We've been making music together for over fifteen years now and something about it just feels 'right'.

On the less fuzzy side, this week has involved some knotty little stress points at work, a great wailing and gnashing of joints and an unprecedented cluster of migraines I was decidedly less than impressed with. I've got some new medication for the latter from my doctor and am having a round of blood tests on Monday morning to look into both and see if there is anything new to see. Between this stuff and the back and forth with the hospital I'm at least feeling like this stuff is being paid attention to - which is nicer than having it ignored. The work stuff, while being a bit on-edge, seems to be leading to some good opportunities and some rather amusing (if slightly intimidating) trips around the country to see people that will, fingers crossed, lead to me jumping off a train one evening tomorrow and arriving at class, dance gear and office gear in tow fifteen minutes later. At least I'll have my bike .

In other, other news, Mass Effect 2 is incredibly good, about the best thing I've played in an age and a half. I'm not that far in however, as I keep getting distracted by an absolutely wonderful novel draft written by the housemate of a dear friend. I expect I'll get further along between reading this draft and the next one .. I promise not to spoil anything .

(Pic: Box of Matzos and Danone Activa Yoghurt resting on a kitchen counter)

After careful experimentation, I do declare that Matzos and Activa 'cereals and fibre' yoghurt are the two greatest anti-nausea foods I have come across in all my years on this Earth. They combine soft and smooshy with crispy yet light and have brought me through all sorts of silliness recently. Henceforth my cupboards shall runneth over.

And then there was fire! The night before the Camb 800 show, we all headed down by the river for a full runthrough with music, fire and frantic dipping backstage under the watchful eyes of our benevolent stage manager. I took the video above in full on grainy phoneovision during the last finale as it was the only time I didn't have my hands full of toys, dip jugs or a lighter.

This is the first chance I had to see the synchronised routines with fire; and they were absolutely stunning.

It was also the fire troupe debut of Aran's scary-ass S Staffs, which look absolutely beautiful but burn with the fire of a thousand suns.

And the amusing spectacle of dippers stood around holding burning toys ready to hand to performers while trying not to start spinning .

We were witness for the first time to the alarming spectacle of flaming ribbon fans (those things are a tad scary!)

Was also lucky to see some awe inspiring things done with burning hoops by the troup's pair of fire hoop acrobats, who just leave me wide eyed every time I see them perform.

This rehersal was the start of an incredibly fun weekend and the most dramatic performance of any kind I've ever been a part of. I'm looking forward to many more chances to do this, both dipping and spinning.

The week before the 800 show, we all descended on a snowy back garden in Burwell to practice routines, and to acquire frostbite.

There wasn't as much for those of us who were going to be dipping to do, but there was some lifting, shifting and setup to do - also I helped cook a rather ridic. quantity of vegge Chilli.

Once we were done, it was time for Bonfire!

Where many marshmellows were roasted ...

... Many, many marshmellows ...

Some poor souls were roasted in effigy ...

And some folk actually got around to playing with fire as well.

Whole thing was ridiculous fun, especially the parts including bizzarre tag variations, precocious small people, cooking and glorrrrrious underfloor heating. Next up, pictures and video from the night before ...

The best thing showed up in the post yesterday; a copy of all of them with teeth: monster hymns and sermons by Little Light. Ever since someone first showed me the seam of skin and scales and it just reached in and grabbed me with an almighty 'hell yeah!' I've been utterly loving on her writing. So having some of it in chapbook/zine printed format is made of win and awesome.

In other news, this week I actually hit the point of being short-sighted enough to want to do something about it when I realised that my facebook status was uncomfortably blurry. Upon getting my fuzzy little ass to Boots, I discovered that eye tests are faster, more fun and more sophisticated than they used to be when I was younger. I also discovered that the staff at my nearest Boots Opticians are friendly, professional and (in the case of the guy who helped me try on umpteen thousand frames while we picked out the right ones together) have great customer manners and the patience of saints.

I should have a couple of pairs of deeply funky glasses in a week and a bit, and will be sure to get in the way of a camera once they arrive so I can show you all. I'm mostly just looking forward to looking at stuff with them on - it was quite the revelation how far and how clearly I could see.

The other exciting bit of human enhancement I have coming up now is the acquisition of a cyborg tooth! The gap that my poor wee babby tooth gave up the ghost in six months ago (it almost made it into my thirties. A pretty good innings I think?) is going to be fitted with a rather impressive/amusing titanium spike and capped, filling in the gap in my molars with a pretty little piece of ceramic biting gear. I am rather looking forward to this .

Off to sneak in a shower before work now, I need to see if I can buy enough time to succeed in my quest for a pair of un-laddered tights before 9am .

I spent most of Saturday in Burwell with the fire troupe and now I can't feel my arms . We were having an all-day rehersal/runthrough for the Cambridge University 800th anniversary fire show and despite it being cold enough to freeze the $x off a $y the whole thing went well and was all kindsa fun.

I'm not actually performing in this one (not nearly ready for that sort of thing), instead I'm assisting Rob backstage, running around making sure toys are dipped and spun off and ready for people to come on and off. I think it's mostly going to consist of following directions and being extremily careful of the college grass, but I love backstage stuff so it should be a right giggle.

Because of that, there wasn't an awful lot for me to do (it being a dry runthrough), so when I wasn't sorthing things out I was helping cook up a small mountain of chilli, having deep and meaningful conversations with a two year old and generally futzing about inside while basking in the luxury of underfloor heating. I swear this is the only reason I still have toes this morning. It was damng ood fun to get to talk to people in a situation where we weren't all dancing around in the dark and on fire, hopefully we'll get to do this a little more in future.

The event itself next Sunday (the 17th) and if you're in Cambridge then, you should ttly be there, it's going to be awesome.

I spent a fair amount of time outside spinning to keep warm, and managed to have a play with several new fire tous outside by the bonfire later (in between bouts of marshmallow roasting). Enough so that my shoulders are throbbing this morning - between this and ATS restarting, January is going to be a rather sore month I think! Worth it though.

Last night a little after dinner, a pattern a lot like this started to fill my vision. It was moving, quite bright and had kind-of almost colours. I could see it with my eyes closed and it made it kinda hard to focus on anything. So I went off for a lay down and eventually it faded ... only to be replaced by a hella thumping headache.

(fortunately for me I'd taken a couple of tramadol earlier which really took the edge off).

This morning, I'm still kinda pained (though not quite so bad) and lights are doing my head in more than a little. I'm hoping like hell it fades by this evening. I've seen the visual patterns before and felt kinda sick/confused, but never had the headache follow it up. It seems as if I might be having a migraine according to Dr Internet - this is a neat new trick that I will not be endeavouring to repeat.

I've called in sick, and am planning on going back to bed in hopes that it abandons ship by this evening. Wish me luck!

I have a hat! For the first time in my life since I was wee tiny small I have a hat which I like, which suits me and which makes me feel cute . I've had a bit of a dance on all evening because of it. It will also fulfill the useful purpose of giving me something to hide my discoid sores under, so I don't have to try and get sunscreen onto them along with the steroid cream (while trying not to clump my hair up horribly).

The last couple of days have been really quite so/so, I've not got as much done as I'd like, spent most of my time feeling delightfully sick (am trying to do something about that, I've tried a new anti nausea drug without much success and am now pondering elimination diets .. bile does not taste good) but this hat has chased it all away and made this evening wonderful and geeky .

The hat itself was lovingly made by Ezekiel, she is srsly fucking awesome .